Reflections on regrets of the Dying

It has been a memorable week for our little family. Transition week for the 11 year old to senior school. the 10 year old away on adventures with her school. I've seen photos on the school blog of her rock climbing and swinging off high wires so all is well there then! Add to that indoor sky diving and western horse riding we've been pretty active. So why the reflective mood?

Partly because we could have lost my nephew on Sunday. It is not uncommon for young men to die on the race tracks. Several are killed or maimed every year. He's not bothered but I am. Add to that the souls shot on the beach in Tunisia and imagining how it must feel to lose a loved one so suddenly and unexpectedly.

This little book is adorable. The author, Bronnie Ware, comes over as so gentle, loving and delightful. I won't spoil it for you if you have not read it but I do recommend it. I often have purges and de-clutter my books but this one is a keeper. It is moving and thought provoking. It is so easy to forget to live amidst the daily hustle of work and the things our days are filled with. So easy to forget to be mindful. I think I need to read more about Gandhi.

Who do you most love in your life and what would you regret most at your own end of life?

5 regrets of the dying

Dangerous sports

My nephew loves motorbikes. He is a talented trials bike rider and has recently branched into the racing world. This weekend, at Anglesey, in Wales he came off his bike at 130 mph. He survived with cuts and bruises and is very stiff today although working as normal. He will race next weekend and the fall bothers him not one bit, he regards it as just part of the sport.

It made me think how I would feel if anything happened to either of my children, yet this weekend they tried indoor sky diving and rode a strange horse without a bit. coached by a cowboy they had not met before. This morning the 11 year old left for her new big school on a public bus for the very first time by herself. She was so nervous but made it and managed to find her way safely home after school. Her self confidence has rocketed. She fears change and new situations. In contrast her younger sister left for a residential school trip this morning with a casual wave and plans for a midnight feast with her friends. She happily travels anywhere and is always first to try anything physical yet is very shy, very sensitive and easily hurt. I cannot protect them from everything and the gradual withdrawal from me to their own adult lives is a natural and welcome progression and in truth I would have it no other way.

The Horse whisperer and Simon

Today we tried Western horse riding for the first time. It is so different from the classic English way. All three of us rode one at a time on a beautiful ex stallion called Simon. He was only made a gelding at the age of 10 so still acts the way he did in his stud days and adores females both equine and human!

The first thing that was unnerving was riding without a bit, just with a head collar styled piece of equipment. The saddle felt strange too although comfortable and your legs are straighter and longer than normal. We quickly learnt how to ask Simon to walk, jog (trot) but not lope (canter) although the 11 year old was treated to a few paces when Simon saw we had a camera. (sorry the photos are on her phone and there is no internet service to download and show you). Apparently he is a big show off and loves having his photo taken.

When it was my turn I learnt "rein back" and then a sideways movement like English Dressage. This was mostly because Simon didn't want to walk on properly. He was a real gentleman although feisty. Ray, the horse whisperer, says Simon will not perform any moves unless he is confident his rider is secure.

We loved it. It feels like a real partnership between horse and human, more of a friendship. You have to trust each other and work in harmony. Without a bit it felt as though the horse was enjoying himself and happy in what he was doing because if he didn't then there isn't much you can do about it!  I'll save up and we will go again. This session was a gift from Ray to introduce us to his way of riding.  Ray was patient, calm and very kind but then as he said, he has to be in his job of calming nervous upset horses. If we were lucky enough to own our own horse then this is the way we would want to ride. Converted!

Scary Doll

This scary lady is a work in progress. School project for the 11 year old is to make a toy. Other girls are making sweet dolls houses in shoe boxes. Not my child. She is making a character from Friday Nights at Freddie's, an internet craze of the moment. The thing above is Toy Chica and the pretty one of the bunch of monsters. I like that she has massive thighs and is not built like a stick insect. quite the positive role model for such a horror story.

Tonight the hands were completed and the 11 year old has carefully made all the fingers. The doll, for that is what it is. is made from papier mache and has moving parts. The arms are jointed. She made a hole through the shoulders, threaded string through the hole and this forms the bones of the arms. More papier mache is then moulded around the string and it seems to be working well.

She started the legs tonight and left it to dry but unfortunately the doll fell over and one leg fell off so I've just taken the liberty of quietly mending it and hopefully no-one will be any the wiser. For something made from paper and flour glue (just mix flour and water) Chica is surprisingly heavy. It's not the best photograph but I'll do another when she is finished. Well I hope she is completed soon as the remnants of all this creativity are waiting for me to tidy away (again...).

Indoor Skydiving fun!

                                                 




We are just back from Manchester after experiencing our first indoor skydiving.  Wow!  It is amazing and I don't think I've ever seen the girls (and my Mum!) grin so much. The girls had two extra turns and we all did the high-fly which is when the instructor grabs you and you both spin right up to the top. (The photo is one borrowed from the company website)

We drove to Manchester which was quite a trek and the traffic was awful but we arrived with one minute to spare. I used up all my adrenaline trying to get there on time. We signed consent forms and they ask about any shoulder injuries or heart problems and yes, we all weigh less than 18 stones. (Oh yes!)
Then we watched a short video and learnt four hand signals so the instructor could communicate with us in the noisy chamber. Next we were all given a suit, helmet, goggles and ear plugs and sat waiting our turn. When you watch the time seems short but once inside, trust me it is plenty long enough. It is nerve racking but brilliant fun and I'm so glad we did it. The 11 year old proved to be a natural at it and the instructor told her afterwards she was the best which she loved.

This company has three UK venues, Manchester, Basingstoke and Milton Keynes. As a memory maker and very special treat I recommend it.




https://youtu.be/wfemHQtN0

Big School

First day at senior school for the 11 year old today. She seems to have coped well although our day did not start well. After driving 7 miles to drop the 10 year old off to join her school friends we set off back home to make the 8 mile journey from there to the new big school. All going well until we catch up with a huge lorry crawling along the winding country lanes. All the way to our destination. I could have screamed with frustration but what good would it do?  So we were late. On her very first day. Luckily no one minded and they were all very kind.

I joined the new parents, who were all having coffee, in a slightly dilapidated hall to hear about our little ones time here. This school invites all the year 6 primary school children, who are due to join the school in September, to experience a week at big school so they can gradually get used to the transition. This school is enjoying a transition of its own as there is a brand new school being finished for January 2016. The children are delighted to be having an extra 2 weeks holiday at Christmas as all the equipment is moved across.

The 11 year old is a feisty character so when an older boy made a sarcastic comment about her school uniform (she chose a bright yellow hoodie as her primary school leavers jumper and looks like a canary) she speedily put him in his place. I think she is going to be alright...

Michael Jackson doll

I was reading one of my favourite bloggers last night, (meanqueen). She was showing some of her handmade wares and ideas for presents and it reminded me of this chap who appeared last Christmas for the 11 year old.
 The 11 year old adores Michael Jackson and reminded me it is the anniversary of his death on Thursday. She was a bit taken aback when she saw the doll but I know she likes him as he is a permanent fixture in her room and is positioned where she can see him. Do you like him? He is about 18 inches tall and very flexible meaning he can Moon-dance whenever you ask him too.

I adapted a pattern from a lovely book by Jan Horrox (Jan Horrox). Her dolls are exquisite and her patterns are well constructed and easy to follow.  I straightened up the body shape to make a boy rather than the hourglass figure but more or less followed the instructions from there on. Both my girls laughed with an uneasy fascination when they first saw him although I'm quite proud that no-one has needed to ask who he is! They are at an age when the unusual tends to embarrass but hopefully one day they will appreciate the effort that Mum made...We'll see on that one...

I'm not especially skilled, nor am I incredibly patient so if I can do it so can you. There is something special about making a present for someone you really love even if it doesn't turn out exactly as you hope. And my 11 year old did tell me, offhandedly, that yeah,, she was keeping Michael forever as he is precious to her.